I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize