12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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