Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
