i'm lost and i look like a hooker
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize