He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
