Fuck appropriateness.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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