The maid of honor just puked.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
