If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
