so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
