But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize