Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
