Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize