96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
