The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
