How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
