Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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