You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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