If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
