Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
