so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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