You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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