He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
