My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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