he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
