Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
