Don't make out with my wife yet
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
