We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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