Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
