This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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