is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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