Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
