All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
