wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
