is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
