I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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