weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
