In the future we'll all be gay
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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