About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
