hell yes lets make some ravioli
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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