i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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