worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
