I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
