never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
