Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
