She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
