I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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