"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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