Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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