2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
