I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
