I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
