the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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