We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i drank out of a bidet.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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