i permit you to call me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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