it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
