Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
