Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
