Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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