No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Mom said you looked used
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
